These Are The Best Habits For Your Health And Career
I have written about habits many times before and for good reason.
Habits are founded on routine, which again is based on consistency, which I wrote about last week here. This month of August is all focused on the theme of building consistency and the power that lies behind functional routines.
The magical thing about habits is that once an activity becomes habitual, it is drastically easier to execute and perform since it's already part of our regular routine or repertoire. Habitual actions require much less willpower and discipline to keep up, meaning that if we keep up that activity, we can successfully start reaping the benefits coming from that activity.
The habits which I talk about below are not only extremely beneficial when practiced over a long course of time but are in a large sense also universally applicable in various areas of our life. These habits have been split into two categories: habits which are beneficial for your career or work life and habits which are foundational for keeping up good health.
My intention today: Discuss 20 different habits in relation to your work and health and to discover how such habits can transform your life if applied as a regular practice.
BEST HABITS FOR YOUR HEALTH
Quitting smoking
Smoking is a seriously harmful habit which, if done regularly, can drastically increase your chances of lung cancer, stroke, dental issues, and other respiratory-related breathing issues that can greatly hinder your quality of life. Even though, as a frequent smoker, one of the hardest decisions you can make for your own health is to quit smoking, it is surely one decision and lifestyle change that is bound to have the best lasting effects on your health and well-being.
Wearing sunscreen regularly
The daily use of sunscreen greatly helps in the prevention of the development of skin cancer and sunburn while also preventing premature aging of the skin. If you are less concerned about the appearance of your skin as you age, then it is recommended as the bare minimum to at least apply sunscreen during the months of highest sun exposure and UV intensity (on the warmest and hottest months with most sun exposure) instead of every day or on cloudier days. Otherwise, dermatologists recommend wearing sunscreen every day, even on less sunny days, and in those instances, using a lower SPF is sufficient. Some time ago, I previously wrote about the importance of wearing sunscreen, which you can read here.
Daily movement
The benefits associated with moving your body are plenty: from better cardiovascular health, joint health, flexibility, improvements in posture, and increasing your overall physical strength and endurance. It is super important to stress that movement comes in many forms and doesn't only include the standard exercising such as going to the gym and running. Please move your body in whatever way feels best to you, whether that is walking, dancing, climbing, swimming, cycling, etc., you name it. I have written about the importance of exercise previously here, so if you are interested, consider checking it out.
Limiting or avoiding alcohol
Although an occasional drink or glass of something will not be the end of the world, alcohol, if drunk in excess, can also greatly harm your health. Excessive drinking of alcohol can cause various cancers such as those of the mouth, throat, and breast, while also predisposing you to stroke, heart disease, and liver damage. While you can have fun while drinking alcohol and every so often is no problem, please do not overdo it. If you want to read more about how to keep a more moderate relationship with alcohol, I have also written about it here and its effects on the body.
Drinking more water
This is rather common advice nowadays, but sometimes we are simply so busy or out of touch with our bodies that we do not drink enough water throughout our day. The standard advice is to drink 2 liters of water per day, but of course, that depends on your age, activity level, and also the temperature of the climate where you live. Making an effort to drink more water, of course, keeps your body and the cells of your body properly hydrated (the osmotic balance in check), which helps with your body's metabolism and energy production, improving the healthiness and appearance of your skin as well as improving the functioning of your kidneys and bowel movements.
Practicing mindful eating
Mindful eating is a rather underrated habit; however, if practiced regularly and with attention, it can have extremely positive outcomes with your relationship with food and other aspects of your health. When we say mindful eating, we refer to eating that is done in a controlled and generally slower pace, where we pay attention to what we are actually eating in terms of its taste, texture, and flavor. This style of eating makes it easier for us to sense our hunger and fullness cues, which can aid in weight-loss goals while also directly improving your digestion and overall satisfaction with the food we eat. Here you can further see the importance of this style of eating.
Getting good quality sleep
It is no secret that sleep is critically important for our functioning and energy throughout the day, along with a myriad of other functions such as boosting memory, helping with your immune system, and being beneficial for your cardiovascular system. By ensuring that you have some sort of evening or sleep routine which works well for you, you make it much easier to ensure good sleep that night. If you would like to know specifically how to improve your sleep or what the benefits of sleeping are, click here.
Time for meditation and stillness
Finding a couple of minutes throughout your day for silence or quiet meditation can also have profound impacts on your health, both physically and mentally. A regular practice of meditation can help with your sleep, anxiety management, as well as improving your emotional intelligence and stress management. Although it is not the easiest habit to begin practicing, I have previously written a blog post with tips on how you can begin practicing meditation and how a sustained meditative practice can help with your well-being. You can find it here. Additionally, a rather underrated way to add value and peace into our lives is to try spending a couple of minutes in complete silence each day while we are awake. Oftentimes, in this busy and fast-paced world we live in, we are exposed to so many sounds and disturbances in our environment that it is hard to truly find the peace of mind to calm down and be able to think clearly. So whenever you can, as during a walk or the first couple of minutes when you wake up or before going to bed, try spending a bit of time in complete silence, even if at the start it is rather uncomfortable.
Adopting a morning routine
Nowadays, there is a lot of talk about the power behind routines, especially morning routines, and for good reason. Although many morning routines that you can nowadays find online are, for most people, completely unrealistic and far too complicated, instead a morning routine should be both enjoyable yet simple and practical enough for you to actually be able to do it more or less every morning. It doesn't have to be long or tiresome, just something that makes you feel good and makes the start of your day feel right and on track. Next week's post will be focused exactly on this topic of routines, why they are actually a fundamental part of our day, and some ideas for what you can include in your own morning routines.
Moments of self-care and time for yourself
Finding some time every day or every week dedicated just for yourself and your own needs is extremely important in the long run for your own personal growth and general well-being. Here I don't mean just time spent relaxing or booking a massage appointment (which if that is what time for you means, then by all means go for it), but I also mean time for you in a more broad sense where, for example, you could read up on a book or article you find fascinating to increase your understanding of a certain topic, or to spend a bit of time every week learning and practicing a new skill you are trying to acquire. All of these activities are extremely beneficial since, at the end of the day, knowledge, experiences, and skills are the raw fuel that fuels whatever you want to do and produce in life. I have also written on the importance of practicing self-care here.
BEST HABITS TO BOOST YOUR CAREER
Practicing deep focus
In a world with so many constant distractions and things to get done, it can be hard to get any proper work done throughout our day. This is why it is essential to be able to block out some time during our workdays where we can truly focus on the chosen tasks at hand and do some actual deep-focused work. Whenever you can, try to make time for work such as this, which will allow you to not only work more efficiently but also the work you produce will be of greater quality. One way to implement more moments of deep-focused work into your routine is to create distraction-free zones in your home which are only meant for focused work and where all other distracting devices will either be completely omitted or put onto silent mode. Similarly, removing as many possible notifications and other unplanned distractions from your environment is also an effective approach to this. Here you can read more about how you can improve your focus abilities
Learning something new every day
As a person, it is really important that we never stop learning and that we continue going through life with an almost childlike state of curiosity to drive us to learn and grow. As a rule of thumb, try to learn something new every day. It doesn't have to be a very big or challenging concept or skill, but in this way, you can day by day become better by 1% which can over time add up to major improvements and growth in your knowledge bank. You can learn such knowledge via reading or watching an interesting video or doing a course or even an in-person workshop for a more hands-on experience at something.
Planning your day in advance
The main advantage associated with planning your day in advance is that the following day when you begin your day, you already exactly know what you have set out to do in that day and waste no more time or precious mental energy to decide what you will dedicate that day to. We actually use a lot of mental energy for making very menial decisions throughout our everyday such as what will we wear, what task should we start first with, how will I get from place A to place B etc., so if we are able to put some energy into thinking this the day before, the following day flows much more easily and efficiently.
Setting daily or weekly goals
I am a big believer in setting goals and setting yourself a general direction in which you want to grow or improve. On a more long-term approach, it can be very useful to set more long-term goals such as goals you aim to achieve within a year, however what often helps to make reaching those larger goals is to set smaller goals on a weekly or daily basis that will get you towards those bigger goals. For example, it is a perfectly reasonable goal to want to save a certain amount of money within 3 months, so to achieve that, you can put a certain amount of money aside each week for example to bring you closer to your goal. Similarly, if you have a goal to lose some weight in the next couple of months, making a daily goal of doing some form of movement for 30 minutes a day can with consistency bring you closer to your goal
Prioritizing your tasks
This goes hand in hand with planning out your day, whereby it is always useful if possible to begin your work with the most difficult or time-consuming task first which will then make all other slightly easier tasks go through more easily. Additionally, it is also important to note that each day, pick out 1 or a maximum of 3 main things which you want to get done, which is far more realistic than picking 20 different things that you want to do but not fully finishing even one of them. Dedicate each day to the completion of something, whatever that may be, whether it is to finish something for a deadline or to take 3 hours in the evening for your family.
Journaling and time for reflection
Journaling or the act of writing out our plans, thoughts, or experiences can be extremely useful in many ways. In terms of your career, journaling about your current successes and goals and areas to improve on can be both very motivational as well as giving you a clearer overview of where you currently are on your journey and where you are heading towards. Making the time to look back on your past work and progress can also be very informative to see what mistakes you had done, what you can learn from them and how to prevent the same mistakes from happening in the future. Essentially, through the process of writing or journaling you are able to distill your thoughts and almost view your thoughts and emotions through a more objective third-person perspective.
Investing in your social life and relationships
I have written about this in one of my recent newsletters where I mentioned that one of the best investments you can make in our life and especially when it comes to your career, is to invest time into the current relationships you have and also in adding new people and new connections into your life. Relationships of all kinds, if functional and sustained, should have mutual effort and time having been invested from both sides to ensure that a trusting bond is built. A variety of strong yet diverse social connections in our life can make our life drastically more meaningful and of course more enjoyable, since at the end of the day, humans are social animals. This doesn't mean that you now need 100 friends, but even if you have a handful of people with whom you are close by with, those relationships can be extremely rewarding.
Expressing gratitude
Although it is rather seen as a cliché nowadays but by intentionally instilling the simple habit of stating a couple of things which you are really grateful for, it can have a very positive outlook on how you see the world. Similar to meditation, you become more in tune with your thoughts and emotions and are able to step back for a little before saying something. Additionally, through gratitude you can reflect on just how many amazing and positive experiences you are able to have in your everyday and by acknowledging them, you genuinely become a more positive person which can help in further attracting new people and opportunities into your life.
Asking for help when needed
Sometimes we have the stubborn mentality that the goal is to be completely self-sufficient and to need to be able to do everything completely by ourselves which could not be more false. Stepping out of your comfort zone to ask for help or to admit that you are still learning about something and would need a hand with it, will save you a lot of time and energy in the long run. Additionally, by becoming more vulnerable with someone about what you require support with, you not only improve your relationship with that person but also up a mutual support system because everyone needs a helping hand with something eventually - and that truly is a sign of strength.
Asking for feedback and critique
If we want to continue striving for growth and progress, it can be extremely beneficial to ask for constructive feedback and critique from someone in the field of what we are working on. When given critique or feedback from someone you trust on something you produce, you shouldn't be sad or angry at the person offering you the critique, but should instead be grateful and try to take into account their ideas or recommendations to further fuel your growth. The exposure to external opinions and viewpoints can be extremely healthy in letting you know what you can still add or improve on which can bring your work and ideas to a completely new level of greatness that could have never been achieved if you just settled with your own view of your own work.
I hope you found some of this advice useful :)
Getting Back On Track After The Holidays
With the New Year's and Christmas holidays now behind us, it is time to turn our attention forward and work towards getting back on track after the festivities.
In today's post, we will explore exactly that, offering practical advice drawn from my own experiences to make this transition as seamless and enjoyable as possible.
If you are eager to resume your routine after some time off or seeking guidance or advice on this topic, then you have come to the right place.
I hope you gain something valuable from this 🥰
HOW TO GET BACK ON TRACK
Determine Your Intentions
The first step in getting back on track is to step back into alignment with yourself and determine in which direction you want to head. In this sense, you have to determine what your top priorities are going forward, for example, in both your personal and professional life and why you prioritize these things.
Additionally, consider which habits you want to build and that would benefit you most when it comes to getting back on track. Some habits, such as these, include building a consistent sleep schedule or prioritizing a varied and nutritious diet.
Make a note of these intentions and habits and keep it as a reference for yourself somewhere where you won't forget about it.
Setting Relevant Goals
Goals can be a very useful and more concrete way of visualizing and establishing your sense of direction and personal aspirations.
Here you want to determine what you want to achieve from today onwards and always have a clear “why” in your head, as this will keep you grounded throughout your whole journey towards your goals.
To ensure that you set your goals in the most useful ways, make sure to design your goals based on the SMART framework, which will make sure that your goals are well-established and that you can realistically achieve them in the time period you set to do them in. There is no good in setting highly unrealistic goals, as you will only be demotivated as a result.
I am not trying to say not to dream big, but I think it is much better to set a realistically sized goal or one which is slightly outside your comfort zone so that you make sure you can still achieve it and that it will give you an adequate boost of confidence and motivation to keep going.
Establishing Functional Routines
Although for some people routines may carry a negative connotation, routines which we set ourselves in our personal or professional lives can be a great way to support our long-term success and any habits which we want to keep up with.
In the mornings, for example, routines can be a great way to mentally prepare ourselves for the day ahead while in the evenings, they can be very useful for calming us down and helping us to unwind after a long day.
What's most important is that you design and pursue a routine that not only works and supports your lifestyle but that you also enjoy doing. If you don't enjoy something, it will make it that much harder to follow through with something in the long term.
It’s also important to mention that just because one routine works for someone, it does not mean it works for everyone else. Everyone is different, with different preferences and styles of working best, which is why it is key to design this routine based on your own lifestyle and intentions.
Lastly, contrary to what is commonly portrayed on the internet or on social media, these routines do not have to be extremely long, complicated, or painstakingly unenjoyable. The main point of a routine is to help you build consistency with something - what that activity is and how you choose to promote being consistent at that activity is up to you. Have fun with it :)
Curating Your Environment
If we want to best ensure that we successfully follow through on the goals, intentions, and routines which we previously established, our environment plays a huge role in making these aspirations as effortless and accessible as possible.
For example, if one of your goals after returning back from a long holiday is to return to a balanced and healthy diet, then it will likely not be of much use to keep loads of unhealthy and processed snacks or drinks at home.
Similarly, if one of the intentions which you set yourself is to be able to productively focus for longer periods of time, it makes sense to turn off or put away any potential sources of distractions whether that be in your digital or physical space.
The idea is to align and design your environment - your living and working space - in a way which supports your goals and intentions. This is a key step as it makes following through with your commitments as frictionless as possible.
Sticking To A Schedule
One of the key reasons for scheduling your activities or your personal commitments into a weekly or monthly schedule is that it promotes consistency. Consistency is one of the most underestimated yet high-yielding skills anyone can develop over time, and it allows you to consistently work, build, or improve on something ultimately helping you to get closer to that goal or achievement that you are striving for.
Based on the goals, habits, and routines which you want to implement into your lifestyle, figure out which of these activities is best done on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis and try to enter them into a calendar or some sort of task tracking software.
If you make these repetitions automatic it once again makes the process of sticking through your commitments that much more likely since you also won't forget about what you promised to yourself.
Creating Accountability
Depending on your current level of discipline, you may find that sticking to a set routine or schedule constantly can be quite challenging and effort-intensive, especially when the unpredictability of life comes our way.
One way to make this process of building consistency of a habit or ritual is to do these activities with someone else or share your personal goals and commitments with other close people who support you so that they can every so often check up on your progress and keep you on track.
Accountability is the foundation of doing anything consistently.
That is not to say that accountability only comes in the form of doing something with someone else, but can also be done through setting reminders on your phone or other devices to remind you of your intentions and routines that you are gradually building.
Realize What Is Within Your Circle Of Control
You have to acknowledge that no matter how clear or well-established your intentions are, that sometimes unpredictable aspects of life will come in our way, usually in the times we least expect it. This is a normal part of life and it is important to be able to not only be aware of this phenomenon but to also take it into account for when we are planning our lives.
There will always be some aspects of our life which we can control and others which are completely out of our circle of control.
If you find that something gets in the way of you achieving your plans, identify whether this is a factor that you have control over and if so, how can you prevent it from derailing you in the future. If it's something you can't control, then realize that the best way to go about this is to accept it for what it is since you can't really change anything about it and realize that everyone has to make peace with such factors.
Staying Flexible
Relating to the previous point, when we do find that something derails us off of our track - whether it is something unpredictable that happens in our daily environment or when we feel our personal willpower or discipline starting to wane - we need to be flexible and adaptable to get our feet back on track.
We have to realize that whether and how we get ourselves back on the right course towards our goals is much more important than the number of times we get derailed. In the end, the people who are most resilient and most adaptable to unpredictable circumstances are also the ones who are much more likely to reach and fulfill their aspirations.
It all takes practice and gradual daily improvements where it's key to know that one setback or wrong step won't mess up your entire journey.
Reward And Repeat
Once you have a routine established that works for you and you are successfully staying consistent, make sure to also every once in a while reward yourself to stay motivated and encourage yourself to keep going.
All of this consistency is at the end of the day very similar to the process of habit building for which we need a reason to keep doing or repeating something.
Additionally, the motivation to continue doing something does not necessarily only have to come from rewards per se, but is actually commonly the result of doing or starting to do something in the first place. Contrary to common belief, motivation is the result of action, instead of motivation being a prerequisite to starting or doing something.
Make sure that this reward or incentive for continuing to do something is something that you actually enjoy and get pleasure out of. It doesn't only have to be limited to treating yourself to a physical gift or some other material good (however if that is what you like best then go for it), but it can also be extended to treating yourself to an experience for yourself or with your friends, or enjoying some good food or going for a weekend/day trip to somewhere.
Life is also in large part about having fun and enjoying the process, so why not make the process of getting to your goals as enjoyable as possible?
Be Kind To Yourself
Lastly, keep in mind that occasionally everyone makes mistakes, makes a wrong decision, or does something to a lesser standard than what we promised to ourselves.
In such situations, there is little point in beating yourself up over it since that will just completely discourage you from ever getting back on track but instead first realize that setbacks like these happen to everyone and secondly, that the way you react or get back up from setbacks is within your control.
You can't always choose how many times you fall down but you can always choose how many times you choose to get back up. Use that to your advantage.
We are all only human at the end of the day giving each day our best effort, so make sure to be kind to yourself on this journey and to take care of yourself and those who support you.
Overcoming Your Fear Of Failure
Being afraid of failure also known as Atychiphobia can be a very debilitating feeling and condition which can impacts various aspects of our well being as well as our own accomplishments and rate of personal growth.
I am interested in exploring this notion today because I think that much of society is nowadays concerned with some sort of ideal “perfect” life which tells us how to live and work properly and does not leave much room for making healthy mistakes (being “imperfect”) and learning from them.
In this way, being afraid of failure and striving for a perfectionistic way of living slows down our development as a person because we are so concerned and preoccupied with how others perceive us that we forget who we really are, what we enjoy doing and most worryingly we become afraid of making mistakes, effectively ceasing growth as an individual.
In this blog post, my aim is to explore the causes of having an irrational fear of failure, learning how to spot it in our life as well as what are the wellbeing related effects of it and how we can best overcome it so we can return back to our best selves.
I hope you enjoy ☀️
CAUSES
Critical upbringing: If during your childhood, your parents or care givers were very critical and unsupportive of what you did or wanted to do, this can later on translate into having a fear of failure since you could never as a child live up to their expectations.
Family history: Phobias, anxiety and depression can increase the likeness of developing a fear of failure later on.
Low self esteem: People which start out with a lower self esteem are much more likely to experience having a fear of failure.
Traumatic experiences: If in your upbringing or past you have experienced abuse or severe punishments when you have done something wrong and failed at something, then this makes you much more likely to be afraid of making any further mistakes down the line because of the repercussions linked to failing at something
Definition of failure: What we define as failure and success if often based on our own expectations or the expectations of others, where if these expectations are too high you may find it very hard to live up to them and a result feel that the risks off trying something new are too high so you do not end up doing anything at all.
Genetics: Being prone to anxiety has been shown to be genetically linked which further increases the chances that you develop Atychiphobia.
Perfectionism: In perfectionism, people set themselves very high expectations and standards to live by where by they believe that if they make mistakes they will be seen as not perfect causing them to fear making mistakes. Alternatively, perfectionists may have the fear of not reaching their own high standards and as a result also experience a fear of failure.
HOW IT SHOWS ITSELF
Some of the most common signs of being afraid of failing at something include:
Being frequently angry or irritable
Caring a lot about how other perceive you
Being pessimistic about life
Being prone to procrastination if something seems challenging
Finding it hard to accept constructive criticism
Being worried that you will disappoint others if you fail
Thinking that your own imperfections and minor let downs will make people think differently of you
Telling others that you will probably find anyways in order to keep the expectations of others low
Underestimating your own abilities so that you avoid feeling let down by yourself
Placing your self worth based on what others think of you
ITS EFFECTS
When having a strong fear of failure, the following consequences are most common:
Taking part in self sabotaging behaviors which further impair your progress
Feeling shame, inadequacy or disappointment
Procrastination
Having low motivation
Experiencing a decrease in self esteem
HOW TO OVERCOME IT
Below you can find a couple of pieces of advice which can help you with overcoming a fear of failure:
Identify what is causing it
Break down large ambitious goals into small and actionable steps
Developing a growth mindset
Reaffirming to yourself that you are enough
Doing or starting the project or idea you have been putting of
Having a strong support system of friends or family which you can fall back on
Be mindful of your alcohol and caffeine consumption to not make you stress or anxiety or worse
Get the basic health elements in check: Good sleep, a balanced diet and taking part in some daily exercise
Become aware of the things you can control within your life and what is our of your control
Planning ahead and visualizing obstacles ahead of time
Redefining your idea of failure
Asking yourself what is the worst possible outcome that can come out of doing this?
🧠 KEY IDEAS
In this blog post we have discussed the subject of fear of failure, where we first explored what causes it, how it can be observed, the effects of fear of failure and lastly, how to overcome it in order to become your best self.
✏️ REFERENCES
Castrillon, C. (2022, October 16). How To Cope With The Fear Of Failure. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2022/10/16/how-to-cope-with-the-fear-of-failure/
Brooks, A. C. (2022, April 7). How to Overcome a Fear of Failure. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/02/how-overcome-fear-failure/618130/
Professional, C. C. M. (n.d.). Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure). Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failure#:~:text=What is atychiphobia%3F-,Atychiphobia is an intense fear of failure.,an exam or job interview.
MSEd, K. C. (2023). How to Deal With the Fear of Failure. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-failure-5176202
How To Be A Better Communicator
I think that being a good communicator and knowing how to communicate well is one of the best skills you can learn. This is because communication occurs in so many different occasions and aspects of our life, everything from how we communicate with our family, partners, friends, work colleagues, bosses and even ourselves.
Communication is also a relatively hard skill because it requires input from both sides of the conversation, however by making sure that you are putting your best foot forward when starting and carrying our a conversation you can also make sure that you get the most out of that conversation no matter how involved the other person is.
So are you interested in how to be an effective and concise communicator?
Then read on 😊 🗣️
WHY IS GOOD COMMUNICATION IMPORTANT?
Simply put, here is a list of reasons for what communication is useful for:
Reducing the number of misunderstanding or potential conflicts between people
Less time and energy is lost because less of those misunderstanding issues occur
You feel more understood and values as an individual
Being a better team worker and collaborator
Becoming better at empathizing and understanding people
Building more trust and respect with new people
Creating an environment in which everyone feels they can contribute with their ideas (makes people feel heard)
Coordinating of people in a successful way
ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION
When it comes to communicating well, there are certain skills which I think come in very useful:
Having empathy: Empathy encourages you to better understand the other individual and their stance, which allows you to relate to their feelings more and in turn also listen to them more clearly.
Good listening skills: This is almost a no brainer one however listening to someone and truly listening to someone are two different things. Be a better listener by giving the other person time to talk and do not interrupt them with your own opinions, perspective or own thoughts. Listening means being the one who listens, not the one who talks all the time.
Using non verbal communication: Non verbal communication such as hand gestures, body movements and facial expression can greatly enhance the meaning of what you are tying to say and also encourages people to listen more since they feel like you are genuinely involved in a meaningful conversation with them.
Teamwork: In many scenarios in life we are tasked with showing and using our teamwork abilities where teamwork itself requires good communication skills in order to coordinate everyone. But at the same time collaborating with more people in your social circle also enhances your ability to communicate effectively since you may be asked to arrange or present something to someone as a group.
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Preparing a head of time: When we briefly take some time in advance to go through what we will say to someone or more importantly how we will communicate this, this often results in a better and clear conversation down the line which results in less potential miss communications or conflicts. This is especially useful for harder and less pleasant conversations we sometimes have to have with people.
Being a good listener: When it comes to being a good listener, make sure that you are really there in the present moment when the person is telling you something and really make sure to listen and try to grasp what they are telling you. Give them space and time to finish saying what they have to say and then offer a suitable reply, but don't try to force too much of your opinion or perspective onto them because sometimes in more difficult situations, the other person may not be looking for you to help them but simply just someone who would listen to them.
Being mindful of how you respond: The way in which you respond matters greatly to how the other person will receive and interpret your message so be mindful of the tone of your voice, pace of speech, finding the right time to respond (not interrupting the person excessively) and taking a couple of seconds to come up with an appropriate response to the situation.
Gaining self awareness: Self awareness in this context has to do with being aware of how we talk and behave within conversations specifically how we say things, how we behave as listeners and how we will make sure both people get their point across effectively. Be mindful of those things when talking.
Practicing public speaking: Speaking to groups of people you don't know or even to familiar groups such as a friend group, is also a good way to practice your speaking abilities because you have to learn how to both communicate your message yet also keep it clear and concise since there is more people listening so you want to avoid any misunderstandings and really make your point understandable and memorable.
Developing an appropriate filter: Often times, depending on the type of conversation we are having, we have to develop certain “filters” which determine what we say or don't say in certain situations in order to make the conversation more appropriate to the setting. So before or during a conversation, think about what would be useful to say in this case or what you could omit to avoid any complications down the line.
Using non verbal communication: Non verbal communication such as body language, hand gestures, facial expressions or eye contact are just as important as the verbal messages we convey to people in our life. These non verbal means of communication further help carry our message across and also tells the other person that we are actively engaged in a conversation with them and not make them feel like their times is being wasted.
Asking for direct feedback: Sometimes asking for feedback on your communications skills for a friend, family members, colleague or even boss/ manager can also be a valuable use of our time since you get to hear a different perspective and perhaps they will mention things that you have not even thought about. Perhaps you will also find that while you were communicating in a certain way that you thought was appropriate, the other person may think otherwise and this is time for you to analyze wether this is true and if it is, how you can best alter your communication way to not get into arguments later on.
Keeping an open mind: Sometimes as listeners we are tempted to always push forward our own opinion or thoughts on a topic, where we might hear one thing and the same second we are forming a counter argument to explain why we are right and why the other person is wrong. This I think is not the correct approach because it is more of a defense strategy than a means of communication so the trick is to really just keep an open mind when it comes to listening to the ideas and thoughts of others.
Getting in tune with your own emotions: It is unpleasant if unwanted emotions come up in the wrong context so make sure to first learn to manage and process your own emotions before starting up a conversation again and in this way, beginning with a level emotional playing field.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
In this blog post we have discussed the topic of how to be better and more effective at communicating which we have done by first covering why good communication is useful, which skills are needed for good communication and lastly what are some genuine ways of improving your communication skills.
✏️ SOURCES
MasterClass. (2020, November 8). Effective Communication: 6 Ways to Improve Communication Skills - 2023 - MasterClass. https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-improve-your-communication-skills
Sharp Emerson, M. (2021, August 30). Eight Things You Can Do To Improve Your Communication Skills - Professional Development | Harvard DCE. Professional Development | Harvard DCE. https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/eight-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-communication-skills/
How To Make The Most Out Of Your Everyday
Often times we are simplify bombarded with so much information in terms of what we should do, shouldn't do and how we should aim to overall live our lives. While all of this information is valuable and can be applied to our lives, I wanted to make this process more simple and summarize all the main ways in which you can ensure that you make the most out of your every day. When individual successful days accumulate, it results in successful weeks and months and an overall meaningful and achievement full year.
If you want to master your every day, you have come to the right place 😊
TIPS FOR MAKING THE BEST USE OF YOUR DAY
PERSONAL CONSIDERATIONS
Prioritizing good quality sleep the night before: Ensuring a solid 7-9 hours of sleep every night. Struggling with sleeping well? If you want to learn more about this topic, you can do so here and here.
Don't begin your mornings with rushing: Create time for yourself in the morning so that you can properly get ready for the day in what ever form that may be. Be kind to yourself. Also do not begin your mornings with going straight to your phone or listening to emotionally charged news; These things should come later on in the day.
Spending time with people you love: This can be a good friend, colleague, family member or a significant other; Social connection is important for general wellbeing.
Finding ways of connecting with nature during the day: Spending your breaks outside, going for an outdoor walk, run, hike or visiting a botanical garden. I recently wrote a blog post about the importance of spending time in nature and you can find it here.
Finding moments to express your appreciation and gratitude for anything that comes: This can be done by explicitly saying it to someone in person or over phone or simply writing it down somewhere. Being able to forgive yourself and other people you hold grudges against.
Be mindful of your media consumption: Avoid mindless time sapping activities such as endless social media scrolling. Focus on creating more yourself instead of just consuming all the time. When you do consume media, be mindful of what you consume, how often and how it is impacting your wellbeing. Read more about how to manage your relationship with social media here.
Implementing daily movement and exercise: This is key for keeping your body and mind in a fit and functional state that enable you to feel energized, focused and strong throughout the day. I have written before about the great benefits of exercise here.
Taking valuable breaks during the day: This is for resting and recharging your body and mind for everything they enable you to do. Supply them with replenishing foods, water and down time.
Learning to disconnect from technology when needed: This is key in such a highly connected environment as the one we currently live in. Disconnecting is needed to properly evaluate your general well being, reflecting over situations or decisions or just generally being able to take a restful break.
Living more in the present moment: Practices such as meditation and expressing of gratitude have been shown to improve the quality of our presence of the present moment. This also means to focus on doing one thing at a time instead of multitasking with 5. By truly being in the present, you will feel so much more fulfilled and genuinely alive in the moment while making more memorable memories.
Challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone: This is something than can be done every day in small ways or in more significant amounts during a week or month. Exposing ourselves to these uncomfortable emotions is key for the development of personal resilience and reaffirming of our abilities and self esteem. You wont regret it.
Reenforcing a positive mindset throughout the day: Up keeping a positive mindset is beneficial not just for your own wellbeing throughout the day but also helps to inspire and uplift other people around you. By having a more optimistic outlook, you are attracting more opportunities and dealing with challenges in a more proactive way
Doing something which excites you: A hobby, your job, past time occupation, an idea you have wanted to pursue for a while etc.
WORK RELATED CONSIDERATIONS
Setting 3 daily tasks which you will accomplish during the day: Accomplishing 3 things fully each day is a lot better than trying to fit in 20 different things and maybe getting one parts of different tasks done. Make sure these tasks are aligned with your long term goals and vision of where you see yourself.
Start with doing the hardest thing first: Get out the most daunting or unpleasant tasks first and you will walk around with lighter shoulders afterwards.
Improving on a skill or learning something new: This can be done though reading an article or book, watching an interesting video, practicing a skill, listening to a podcast or audiobook, attending a workshop etc.
Managing distractions and interruptions ahead of time: This is crucial if you want to be able to stay focused for considerable periods of time. This also goes to say to stop checking emails as they come in.
Spending times of the day in moments of deep focus: This does not just help with making considerable progress towards your goals and accomplishments but is also a highly prized ability - staying focused - in todays society, giving you a advantage over most people around you.
Creating and sticking to a routine which works for you: We often hear that well established routines are upon which all successes are founded upon, which is true because success often times means doing something over and over again (staying consistent) while making small improvements each time
Determining in advance how long something should approximately take you: This is the basic principle of Parkinson's law which explains that how long a task will take you in reality is based on how much time you give for its completion. The more time you give, the more time it will actually end up taking.
Staying organized in a way that is functional to you: I understand that people work best in different enviments of organization but having some guideline of where to store things, how to label and be able to locate things within your environment is I think essential for anyone and can be applied with so many different items and areas of life
Planning out your day the night before: This includes setting the 3 things you will get done, planning in your breaks, times for meals, social events and other things which make you excited during the day. If a task or event is slotted into your calendar with a specific time and set duration, it will get done.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
Throughout this blog we discussed several different ways of how to make the best use of your day, when it comes to both personal and work related consideration, in order to make your day meaningful and productive.
✏️ REFERENCES
Anderson, A. R. (2014, March 28). 10 Ways To Make The Most Of Every Day. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/amyanderson/2014/03/28/10-ways-to-make-the-most-of-every-day/
Matthews, B. K. (2006). How to Get 7 More Hours in Your Day. Oprah.com. https://www.oprah.com/home/how-to-get-7-more-hours-in-your-day/all
Hall, S. (2014). 17 Ways to Make the Most of Every Day. Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/17-ways-make-the-most-every-day.html
Kane, S. (2017, March 30). My 11 Tips on How to Make the Most of Each Day. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/my-11-tips-on-how-to-make-the-most-of-each-day#4
20 Productivity Tips to Get More Out of Your Day - Fireworx Digital. (2017, February 15). Fireworx Digital. https://fireworxdigital.com/20-productivity-tips-more-out-of-your-day/
Developing Core Life Skills
In life we are often asked to use, implement and exhibit many different types of skills and abilities, where I thought that it would be useful to compose a list of the most useful and versatile skills which anyone can learn and benefit from implementing into their life.
These skills are designed to be applicable and supportive to many aspects of your daily life and implementing these one by one is an assured way to get step by step closer to your idea of success. These skills do not only improve you as an individual, but also improve the effectiveness of your work abilities and quality of your relationships.
Happy reading :)
10 ESSENTIAL LIFE SKILLS
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:
Here “communication” here refers to both verbal and non verbal means of expressing yourself and your thoughts where communication as a skills allows for many other advantages:
Improved interpersonal relationships by showing trust and authenticity (Both private and work related relationships)
Improved time management by vocalizing your boundaries
Building more cohesive family connections
Improved organization within your personal life
Getting better at asking for help when you need it
Supporting a healthy self esteem
PROBLEM SOLVING ABILITIES
In life, there will always be problems and obstacles to overcome and provide solutions for. Because of this, the skill of problem solving and coming up with innovative solutions is a highly prized skill. The process of problem solving and understand the root cause of an issue or a potential solution is a highly rewarding and satisfying accomplishment, which is why developing this skill also enhances our self esteem.
Furthermore you are strengthening your intelligence and mental abilities by analyzing different points of information to see how they connect and effect each other, which further helps with the solving and understanding of a problem.
SELF AWARENESS
Self awareness is the process and ability to be aware of your own self, your character and personality, your strengths and weakness, your wants, desires and dislikes as well as your emotions and various behaviors you perform.
In this way, being good at self awareness means you have a good general overview of who you are as an individual and it allows you to continue assessing where you currently are and what you have to do in order to get to who your truly want to be.
Furthermore, people who are highly self aware are also better communicators, have a greater tendency to be natural leaders, have more adept listening skills and generally have been shown to have a higher level of emotional intelligence
DECISION MAKING
I have talked before about the importance of effective decision making and how to become better at this skill here. Good decision making has the ability to positively impact all aspects of your life: Ranging from your personal relationships, your health, your finances, your mindset, working abilities and many more
One of the main reasons why effective decision making is becoming harder and harder to practice is because we are living in a world with more possibilities and opportunities than ever which causes us “decision fatigue”. Additionally, the added factor of living in highly stimulating enviments filled with technology, makes it even harder to focus on the decision we want to make and properly evaluate it.
TIME MANAGEMENT
It is no surprise that time management has made it on to this list of top life skills, as time management is essential for anyone who wants to make the most out of their days and weeks and creating a life that is full of meaning to them.
The beauty of time management is that we all have the same amount of time to work with however most, if not all of this time is within our personal control to decide how to spend and use. In this way, becoming better at time management means that you are better suited to handle your most important and non negotiable deadline bound daily/ weekly/ monthly tasks while also finding time for yourself, for your friends and for your family - all of which are essential components of a fulfilling life.
Additionally, effective time management also means that in turn your stress levels are lower since you know that the way that you are currently spending your time is in line with your greater goals so there is no need to feel guilt or shame for any activity.
I have previously talked about time management and this blog post can be found here
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Life is also inevitably filled with stressful moment, some more, some less, but either way, we all experience stress in some form at some point in our lives. Being able to effectively cope with stress can be the difference of defeating your obstacles or giving up at your first challenge already.
This is why stress management is so important: Because it is inevitable and it allows us to endure during the hard moments which are most important for defining who we are.
If you are able to overcome those hard, stressful moments, then you have the ability to over come challenges, setbacks and ultimately be much more equipped for reaching your personal goals.
Being good at stress management also means being good at managing your emotions as the two are highly inner connected.
If you want to learn more about how to effectively combat stressful emotions, I have written about this topic previously here
CREATIVITY
Creativity is a skill that is becoming ever more appreciated and searched for as being creative differentiates you and makes you unique from others which makes any of your work infinitely more valuable and original to you.
Creativity in this sense does not only refer to creative subjects such as art, music, poetry etc. but is also referring to creative and different ways of thinking, posing new perspectives and questions, finding new ways of doing things and becoming more flexible with a hobby or occupation.
Furthermore creativity also greatly helps with developing problem solving abilities by encouraging “out of the box” thinking, which we have discussed before.
CULTIVATING EMPATHY
Empathy is another essential life skill, although sometimes its power is under appreciated. Being empathetical means that you are good at empathizing with others, meaning that you excel at showing compassion and feelings of understanding to others. Empathy means you show support to anyone who is struggling with something or going through a difficult time and checking in with the people in your life.
A skill such as empathy is not only limited to close personal relationships but is also worthwhile to pursue in the case of people we may not necessarily be very close to or other colleagues at work, as showing empathy is a great way to make new social connections.
In order to be empathetical you have to first have a desire for wanting to care about the emotions and well being of others around you. Empathy has to be genuine as other wise it is much harder to build general trust with the person and in turn makes it harder for them to open up - Overall limiting you from building a healthy relationship.
LEADERSHIP
Leadership is another skill which tends to be under appreciated and also under practiced because a lot of people believe that some people are just natural leaders and others are more suited as followers. I think this thinking is false because your leadership skills can be developed as long as you have the desire to improve on them and also put in the work.
Leadership is not just about leading and learning to take control but is also heavily based on motivating, inspiring and empowering the lives and mindsets of others. As a leader it is your responsibility to see the good in the people around you and encouraging them to realize that part of themselves and in that way becoming the best version of themselves.
Leadership abilities additionally help with boosting your confidence, clarifying your communication with others and building a strong sense of character and trust with those around you.
CRITICAL THINKING
Critical thinking is about learning to think for yourself, instead of always following what everyone else says. It is about assessing your beliefs and your understanding of the workings of this world and seeing how this understanding could be flawed or made more objectively close to the real correct truth.
Critical thinking is not only essential for analyzing your thoughts, emotions and behaviors but is also a key component of making good decisions, taking control of your mood and emotions as well as becoming a generally well informed individual among such a variety of available information.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
The 10 key life skills which we have discussed today include:
Communication
Problem solving
Self awareness
Decision making
Time management
Stress management
Creativity
Empathy
Leadership
Critical thinking
✏️ REFERENCES
Copyright skillsyouneed.com 2011-2023. (n.d.). 10 Core Life Skills to Learn and Master | SkillsYouNeed. https://www.skillsyouneed.com/rhubarb/core-life-skills.html
Vij, R. (2022). WHO’s 10 Core Life Skills & Why We Teach Them. NutSpace. https://nutspace.in/10-core-life-skills/
How To Make Better Decisions
I have to be honest; one of my main weaknesses is making good decisions in a relatively short time span. Often I use several days if not a week, stressing out over the idea that I have to make a decision, and still after a week get no closer to making a final decision.
Because we all have to make decisions in our lives, wether it is the small decision of what we will have for breakfast to very important long term decisions such as what we want to study or which career we want to head into, I wanted to write this blog post, because I believe that making genuinely good decisions is actually not easy and something that we could all learn more about.
Making good decisions takes the consideration of many different facets and often also takes more time to properly think things through. For this reason, I have written and identified a list of key steps and considerations which you can go through every time you are in the process of making an important decision.
I hope that you find that list useful and that it can hopefully make it easier for you to make decisions you are proud of.
Get to know your own needs and wants
Ask yourself why you are choosing to make a choice in the first place: Why are you deciding now, what do you hope to achieve with this decision and what are its intended goals.
Identify your current goals, priorities and main values: Ask yourself if by making this decision you will support these aspects of yourself or go against them? How can you reduce conflict in this area?
Consider what would be your intuitive response to a decision: What does your intuition tell you?
Weigh the pros and cons of the decision
Take into account the consequences of the decision (The short and long term costs and benefits of the decision taken)
What is the most likely outcome of me making this decision?
What is the best and worst outcome that could happen in the near future and long term future?
Am I prepared for the outcome if things don't turn out as I expected them to?
Minimizing regret: Consider wether you will regret making this decision or saying yes/ no to a decision? This is key because sometimes we automatically say yes to everything and before we know it we are doing things which drain us instead of energize us.
Minimizing conflicts: If you think that your decision will cause someone else to have a bad response, try and put yourself into their shoes and think about how they will likely react and how you could best manage that situation.
Keeping your options and possibilities and open: This will give you breadth of the various other opportunities and perspective that exist. For this, you could also ask relevant experts or close family members / friends for advice on what they would do in your position. This doesn't mean you have to completely follow their advice, but try and understand their perspective and take from it what is useful to you.
Narrow down your choices: Often when faces with too many possibilities, we get overwhelmed and find it hard to listen to ourselves and decide on something. Because of this, try and narrow down your possibilities and keep the ones that really excite you or are really important to you.
Optimizing you decision making abilities
Take your time with the decision process if you can: Good decisions require time because a lot of thinking, strategizing and planning is involved.
Identify what time in the day you find it easiest to make decisions: Usually the time of day you experience least stress such as in the morning or during weekends.
Manage your stress levels: Don't make a impulsive decision just because you are stressed about making a decision so you go with something just for the sake of not having to decide anymore.
Keep your basics in check: Get enough sleep, stay hydrated and don't be hungry when making important decisions.
Deeper breathing: Take deeper breaths that will stimulate more oxygen to flow into your brain which can enhance your thinking and clarity of choice.
Writing down your decision making process: Writing down helps you to additionally process your thinking and put it into perspective.
I hope that wit this blog post you were able to get some refreshing and genuinely useful advice on how to make better decision in any area of your life. Good decisions making is not easy and is really something that you get better at the more decisions you make, so why not take some time to learn to how to better your decision making abilities, which is after all a very valuable skill to have.
Thank you for reading ad enjoy the rest of your day or evening.
Principles And Questions To Carry With You Through 2023
Todays topic was partially inspired by the book that I am currently reading; “Best Self” by Mike Bayer, where the aim of the book is to analyze 6 main areas of your life (Social, Personal, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment and Spiritual Development) and figure out what in these areas you are currently doing good with and what you still want to improve on. I like the book because it is full of interactive writing exercises and I like how it is structured, which makes it easy to follow along and make the best use out of the genuinely useful chapters.
For this reason, I wanted to write up a list of general life principles that I think everyone can benefit from following/ incorporating more often into their lifestyle and also a include a practical list of questions aimed at enhancing your own personal discovery.
Wishing you pleasant reading ahead 😊
GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Focus on doing your best instead of aiming for perfection
This is something that has become some wheat of a mantra for me, or something that I regularly repeat myself. I find that it is easy for me to get caught up in perfectionistic ideals where the goal is to do something absolutely right instead of focusing on learning and growth.
I find that this mindset can be very debilitating and genuinely slow down your progression as a person because
It makes you fear making mistakes which means that in theory you are afraid of learning and making progress - You essentially choose to stop living. You fear mistakes because they are a sign of you not being perfect in something which is an irrational thought in the first place because “perfection” in itself is a subjective experience.
It is a very unrealistic expectation to put onto yourself, meaning that when you do make a mistake (which we all do), you start obsessing over these little imperfections and you can become a very harsh critic on yourself.
Be your authentic self instead of changing yourself to fit others
This is an idea that is partially inspired by the book that I am reading and also my general experiences at university. I think that at the start when you are settling into a new environment and don't know many people, as soon as you do make a connecting with someone you can sometimes become very clingy and over dependent on that person for your social life. As a result you may start changing parts of yourself such as appearance, behavior or personality so that you can fit in more with that person or group, and feel less left out.
This makes sense to a degree as we all want to belong, but ask yourself is it worth the cost of loosing your real self? Would you prefer people to know you for your real self and enjoy being around that version of you or a made up facade you put up when you are around them?
I now consider it to be more important to be my genuine self when I am around people, meaning that I act, talk and think like the person I really am instead of someone I pretend to be. This makes it easier for me to attract other like minded people and see who I genuinely enjoy spending my time with.
Take things one by one and learn to take the time to slow down
This is a principle that often gets forgotten about, especially in the business of the every day, but I really believe that it is essentially to at least once a week or once a day find a moment to slow down a little bit. It can be for as little as taking 5-10 minutes for deep breaths in the morning or having a more laid back weekend afternoon. It is up to you, but implementing some more stillness into your life will help you with:
Reducing your levels of stress (Read more about stress here)
Better stress management for future stressful events
Becoming more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment
Finding it easier to introspect and find out how certain things make you feel
Finding more enjoyment in the little things of everyday life
Life already happens fast enough around us, so why not take some time to momentarily slow it down?
I have also written about how to find more peace and tranquility in daily life here
Be mindful of your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself
I find the idea of negative self talk quite interesting because it makes me think, why would someone want to effectively be working against themselves? Against what is good for them? This essentially means that you are your own obstacle to your growth.
So, if you do find that, that you are someone who struggles with low self esteem and experiences chronic negative self talk such as “I suck at this, I will never be (x), I cant possibly do that, I am a failure etc.) then I would say the first step is to become aware of the thoughts you are having and when you get them. Consider what triggers this negative self talk for you; Is it when you are on social media browsing and comparing yourself to others or is it when you feel lonely and lack a support system?
Next, try to aim for developing a more open and growth orientated mindset where you reframe the negative things you say into more positive messages such as “I can do anything I put my mind and energy towards, I am just the way I need to be”. The more you practice these positive self affirmations and messages the more your mind will genuinely start believing them and as a result your confidence and what you achieve will greatly improve.
If you wouldn't say to someone else what your current negative self talk says to you, then don't say those things to yourself. It is only feeding into negativity when really you deserve to treat yourself like you treat any other person you really love - with love, belief and support.
Put your full presence and energy into any activity you intentionally choose to spend your time doing
This is a powerful thought because often we find ourselves multi tasking with different things or even if we are just doing one thing, we feel like our mind is in 100 other places and thoughts. Because of this, I think it can be beneficial to say to yourself that whatever you will be working on today or within the next x amount of time, you will choose to focus exclusively on that, and all other things will wait for after.
This will not only improve the quality of your work and sharpen your thought process behind these tasks (reducing the number of time consuming mistakes you make), but also shorten the amount of time it takes you to get something done.
Take care of yourself first and then everything else
This is often heard as some what a cliche but it does carry truth to it. If you find that you are not operating from your best level of self (poor sleep, low energy levels, distracted thoughts etc.) then not only will this make it much harder to tackle anything you have going on that day but also make it much harder for you to help others and maintain good social relations.
You feel much more fulfilled when you don't just live life for yourself but you live it by being of service to others
Often we might start dong things from a personal gain standpoint where we are doing things exclusively to benefit ourselves in what ever way that may be. While it is important to do things which bring benefit and pleasure to you, it is equally important that what you are doing, is also serving others in some shape or form. Any job or activity can be seen as solving a problem or meeting a need that people have, with which you are providing help, utility and service.
We all want to feel like we are valued and that we are working towards something bigger than just ourselves because when we find that balance of doing something which lights a spark inside you while also creating work that is meaningful and useful to others, that is where true happiness and fulfillment are found.
Go beyond yourself and ask yourself in what ways can you be helpful, useful or generally of service to to others in your everyday (it can be small or big)
Genuine happiness and satisfaction can not be obtained through external sources alone
Nowadays it is very easy to be convinced with the idea that sustained and long term happiness ands satisfaction can be bought through external means such as material goods, fancy lunches and having a surplus of everything. While everyone needs a certain level of materialism to be content and meet their needs, an excess here will not make you any happier especially when we are talking about being genuinely satisfied by your life.
The point I am trying to make is that while materialistic goods can spark temporary moments of joy and happiness, it is only a short term fix that quickly wears off leaving us thirsty for more; What was previously the goal for us is no longer enough and so we continuously want more.
This is a sign to reevaluate your priorities and really consider what brings you genuine long term happiness. Most often, true happiness arises both from internal sources such as having a good level of self esteem and attitude towards yourself as well as your environment such as the people you surround yourself with and the experiences you live.
Quit complaining and be proactive about your problems instead
Quite a simple statement but one that we often forget, since we are all sometimes victims of this.
When it comes to problems that you do have control over, you either have the option of continuing to complain about it and nothing changes or you choose to act and solve that problem so that it no longer bothers you.
When it comes to issues that are outside of your circle of control, then you can either place less importance on those problems/ decide to accept it and move on with our life or if you really do care, then do what you can to get into a position where you do have a influence over the issue and try to resolve it that way.
No one has a perfect past, so learn to make peace with anything that might be troubling you and learn to move on
Linking back to the previous point, with any traumatic, negative or unwanted experience in your past, you have the ability of analyzing your emotions towards that particular event and then coming to the stage where you have analyzed the problem enough that you are ready to accept that it is a thing of the past and can move on from that experience.
Of course it is useful to learn out of any negative experience, but being stuck in a permanently negative state of rumination or regret is also not the point, so make peace with your past and - It will almost feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you have gotten a fresh new energetic start.
Never choose to stop learning and growing in life
This links a lot to the first point I made in this list, where we often think that as soon as we have stopped going to school or getting a formal education, that we have learnt everything that we needed to and we can stop learning.
I think this is a wrong approach, especially since each year our world is becoming ever more complex, interconnected and fast paced meaning that new information, products, technologies, ideas, theories, solutions and advancements are coming out. So if we really want to feel like an integrated unit within a society, it is our job to stay up to date as much as possible and continuously absorb new information around us. Be like a full time “sponge”; thirsty for knowledge.
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
Because I believe that reflection is a very powerful and genuinely useful tool to learn how to use, I wanted to write a list of general reflective questions which you can use at any time and I think are relevant to any individual, whatever stage in your life you might currently be in.
These questions are meant for your own personal introspection and to get to know your current strengths, weaknesses, points to improve on and trying to identify what kind of life really resonates with you. You can even answer these same questions every couple of months or at the start of each year to see how your own answers change as you learn more about yourself.
If you are additionally interested in the process of journaling and reflecting, I have written the following blog posts on this topic:
What are your top 5 core values and do you currently live through those values? If not, how could you change that, or is it that those values are not your true values?
Consider what actually matters most to you in the end? What actually makes a “good day” good for you?
Which beliefs/ mindsets, old routines and genuine fears are holding you back from doing what you genuinely want to do and living your best life?
What would your ideal day look like? What would you spend your time doing and who would you be with?
What are activities that make you feel truly alive and when was the last time you did them? How could you do them more often?
What are the constructive habits that you want to build and unhealthy habits you want to let go of?
What are some things you currently want to make a change about in your life (Work related, personal, hobbies, health, relationships, attitude etc.)
What are things which are currently worrying your mind? Are those worries and fears rational and if so, what would be the best way for you to manage them?
In what ways am I living life authentically and true to me right now? In what ways do I still have to create alignment between what I currently do and who I really want to be?
Who are people that genuinely inspire you and continue to fill you with new uplifting energy?
What are some things or people you could not imagine living without? How can you take them less for granted and express gratitude for them more often?
What would my absolutely ideal life look like? (Where would you live, your occupation, family?, hobbies, social circle etc.)
I hope that you were able to get some genuinely useful tools and insight through todays post and that it helps you on your own reflective personal growth journey.
Feel free to adapt any of the questions above to make them more suitable or specific to you.
Thank you for taking your time today to read this ☀️
Reflecting On The Year 2022
The eventful year of 2022 is starting to come to an end and with that it is good to take time to pause and retrospect back on what has happened and how we have grown as individuals. So much can happen within a year so it is important to acknowledge the improvements, achievements, changes and progress we have made in our lives.
I encourage you to take the time to reflect, it does not have to be a long and complex process, but ultimately one that can benefit you in the long run.
Hope you enjoy the read and happy holidays to all of you 💛
WHY ITS IMPORTANT TO TAKE TIME TO REFLECT
The reason why why should bother to reflect on the past year are many, but I think fore mostly, reflecting gives us a time to slow down and really think through our thoughts and ultimately decide wether we are moving our life in the direction we want to be going in. It allows us to simultaneously asses what are the aspects we are doing well on and also plan for the future year in terms of considered what we would still like to improve on and where our future goals life
Reflecting is a useful use of your time because it allows you to asses the core reason for why you do the things you do and also considering wether there is a smarter and more efficient way of doing things.
Additionally retrospecting on the past allows us to see how we have progressed and grown as individuals, which can for many be quite motivating for pursuing future interests
22 QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON 2022
Below I have made a list of some useful questions which you can use for your personal yearly reflection. Feel free to add your own and adjust it to your needs.
What were the highlights of the year for you?
What are you proud of yourself for?
What was your biggest most memorable accomplishment this year?
Who is the person that you could not have gotten through this year without?
Which activities energized you and which ones drained you of energy?
Which habits helped you and which ones held you back?
What challenges did you overcome?
How do you want to optimize/ improve about some of the activities/ hobbies which you did through the year?
What skills do you learn or improve on?
What is your favorite memory from 2022?
What were the biggest time wasters for you in 2022?
What were the most fun memories of 2022?
What were the best uses of my time this year?
What is something you can do today which you could not have done a year ago?
Which mindsets do you want to let go of for the new year?
What got in the way of your success or achieving all of your set goals?
Who are the best people you met throughout the year and why?
If you had to describe the year 2022 in 3 words, what would they be?
Which one of your personal qualities turned out to be most useful this year?
What are the most important learning lessons you have learned?
Was there something you did for the first time in your life this year?
Which worries of yours turned out to be completely unnecessary in the end?
What are you grateful for in the year 2022?
I hope that the year 2022 brought you many beautiful memories and valuable experiences and that todays post helped you acknowledge and write them down. Take some time for yourself towards the end of each year and you will start to see how it can help you achieve a greater sense of calm and satisfaction for the year which has passed while allowing you to plan and visualize the year ahead that will be ripe with opportunities.
Within the next post I will be talking about planning and setting the foundations of your 2023 goals, so stay in tune for that.
Thank you so much for reading.
The Power Of Self Reflecting
I am noticing more and more the importance of taking time to reflect on the activities which we do, why we do them and to check in with ourselves in terms of how we feel. Self reflections can especially be ignored and underused when we are in particularly busy periods of our life, where we do the majority of things on “autopilot” mode instead of taking some more time to think more deeply about how we spend pour time.
Wether you are currently in a busy period of your life or one that is filled with more time and calmness, I think that reflecting is a very good tool to use, especially if you feel unsure wether you think you are making the right choices and generally moving in the right direction.
I hope you enjoy this one 💭
BENEFITS OF REFLECTING
More Self Awareness
When we self reflect, we center in on ourselves in the current moment which produces a state of calmness. With this opportunity to reflect, we become more aware of how we feel, what we want and who do we want to be/ what we want to be striving for.
We are able to notice our core values which should ideally guide our intentions and decision making, as well as separate our emotions from our thoughts, allowing us to look at various situations and experiences more objectively and rationally.
Better Decision Making
With more awareness of our values and having a better idea of what we want more or less of in our life, we are able to make better longterm decisions which will both benefit us and others, while also not instilling a sense of regret in us by having make a rushed and regretful decision.
Furthermore, we also become more aware of the decision making process itself instead of only focusing on the final decision - the outcome. In this way, we are able to stop ourselves before we make a rash choice while also being open minded and honest about how we feel about the process which will help bring more objectivity.
Align Your Actions With Your Intentions
Once we start making better decisions for ourselves, we are on the way of living more true to ourselves and who we are. Our actions start feeling more aligned with the true version of ourselves which is an empowering feeling as we are no longer compromising our self or living based on how others want us to be.
Improved Critical Thinking
When we take the time to reflect, we are able to give more space and time to our thoughts and feelings which allows us to look at a situation without objectively without being influenced by excessive emotions. During this stage, we are able to analyze and learn from our behavior, noticing what we did right and what is something we should work on for the future.
It allows us to be aware and mindful of ourselves, our behavior and the things we say, as often times these actions impact the relationships we hold with others and ourselves in ways we may not even be aware of.
Furthermore, as we have more time to think through our actions and thoughts, we are more likely to recognize the root issue of a problem much faster and be able to implement suitable changes more effectively.
Increased Personal Growth
Through personal reflection we are consistently learning about ourselves and adjusting our life according to what we learn about ourselves. By becoming more educated about your own thoughts, needs, wants and feelings, you are able to speed up your personal growth journey through the discussed decision making benefits and appropriate critical thinking skills.
You are able to make a better and longer lasting contribution to yourself and in turn also others, by being more mindful of what activities you need to do more or less of in order to become that better version of yourself which you are striving for. You increase your chances of learning from your past mistakes and being more open minded to new perspectives of looking at topics.
25 REFLECTION QUESTIONS & PROMPTS
Below I have included some questions you can use for doing your personal reflection just to make the process a bit more easier.
What are you currently feeling?
Where in your body do you feel these emotions?
Why do you think you feel this way?
Are you happy feeling these feelings or do you want to change them?
Which thoughts do you keep thinking of?
Why do you keep thinking of them?
What are some opportunities for growth and learning you currently have?
What is currently challenging to you?
What do you keep holding on to which you should let go of?
What are some things that you are currently doing and not doing, which you would regret in the future if you did or didn't continue doing?
What are some of your top priorities right now?
What is something in your work and personal life that you are currently doing and is working well?
What are the biggest obstacles you are facing right now?
What is the best way of how to overcome those obstacles?
What is your ideal self like?
What are things which you are striving for?
How can you treatment yourself and others better?
How can you improve your relationship with others?
Identify the most common activities you do in a day and identify why you do them
What is one skill that would help you out a lot right now if you learned it?
What am I proud of myself for?
What is something you did or handled well in the past week/ month?
What can you learn from your past mistakes or negative experiences?
When ever you are faced with making a difficult decision, ask yourself what are the pros and cons of it and the potential opportunities or fallbacks which may get overlooked
If you continue down the path you are currently headed doing what you do, where do you see yourself in 1, 5 and 10 years time?
5 STEPS TO MAKING SELF REFLECTION A HABIT
Determine the following points first before starting:
Time of the day/ week/ month you will do your personal reflection (morning, evening?)
For how long you will do it for when you do it (10 minutes, 30 minutes?)
Format of reflection (digital or paper?)
Wether you will journal based on free flowing questions that come to mind or use a list of journaling prompts to help you out
Put your journal or device in a convenient place where it is easy for you to start reflecting
Try sticking to the habit for a week and see wether you like it and what would you change about this routine to make it more suitable to you (adapt it)
Track your habit progress and consistency for keeping yourself motivated
Reward yourself every so often for sticking to a habit which is beneficial to you
I hope that you found this article interesting and also useful for when you do your own personal reflection. I urge you to not underestimate the importance of self reflecting and see for yourself how it can improve your life and clarity behind your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Thanks for reading 💛
Finding Your Ikigai
A while back, I had read the book called “ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life”, written by Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia, which inspired me to write a couple of words on the topic of the so called “ikigai”, in terms of what it is and how it can help us improve and reshape our lives.
I enjoyed the book due to its simplistic style of writing and it was also a short yet impactful read so I would suggest it to plenty of other people for them to give it a go.
The main idea behind the book and the concept of ikigai is about helping you find your true purpose in life, a purpose that feels aligned with your interests and how those can help the world around you.
So if that sounds like something you would like to learn more about - which is something that I think anyone could benefit from - then you have come to the right place.
WHAT IS AN IKIGAI?
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means your ‘reason for being.’ ‘Iki’ in Japanese means ‘life,’ and ‘gai’ describes value or worth. Your ikigai is your life purpose or what truly lights you up on the inside. It’s essentially what brings you joy and inspires you to get out of bed every day.
It’s also important to highlight that the traditional Japanese philosophy focuses on finding your purpose in life while the adapted westernized version of the ikigai has made it a method of finding your dream career.
Japanese psychologist Michiko Kumano (2017) has said that ikigai is a state of wellbeing that arises from devotion to activities one enjoys, which also brings a sense of fulfillment.
The Westernized version of ikigai says that your dream career has to include the following aspects:
What you love
What you’re good at
What you can be paid for
What the world needs
A visual representation of what makes up your ikigai
WHY BOTHER DISCOVERING YOUR IKIGAI
Gives you a greater sense of what you want in life
Better decision making (More time and money saved)
Makes it easier to say no to things and to say yes to the right opportunities
Better use of your time if you roughly know what you are after
Finding the best balance between doing what you love, what is useful to the world and what you are also good at
Can make meaningful contributions to the world sooner
Can increase your expertise and understanding in a field by focusing more on it
Being able to plan ahead for potential future struggles and issues that may arise in your field
HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR IKIGAI?
STEP 1: Answer the 4 fundamental questions
What you love:
What are your interests and passions (broad and niche)?
What are your favorite past time activities/ hobbies?
What do you enjoy/ not enjoy about your work and hobbies?
Do you feel a sense of being absorbed/ flow state during your work and hobbies?
Do you feel excited about your work and hobbies?
What you’re good at:
What are your top personal strengths and skills?
Do people ever come to you for advice with what you do?
Do you ever receive compliments for your work?
Do you find that that you excel at what you do?
Are your hobbies and profession intuitive to you or does it take more time to learn?
What you can be paid for:
Are other people making a career/ getting paid for the same work and hobbies you do?
Do you currently make a good living/Will you eventually make a good living from the work you do?
Have you noticed people wanting to buy what you do or make?
Is there a healthy level of competition regarding your work and hobbies?
What the world needs
Would you say your work and hobbies are in a high demand currently? What about the future?
Picture the next year, 10 years, and 100 years — will your work still be valuable?
Are you solving either a social, economic, or environmental problem?
STEP 2: Narrow it down
Based on your answers, write down a list of career opportunities that sound exciting and interesting to you and write down how your ideal day would look like (What you would be doing)
STEP 3: Learn about it
Learn about those career paths either through reading more about that specific career, educating yourself through online platforms or by asking someone who has the job you want to do, how their day looks like and what kind of benefits and struggles they face.
STEP 4: Try it out
After learning, put your ideal career/ ideal day into practice. Try it out and see wether that is actually something that you enjoy doing? Would you do it everyday? Would it be too intense or would you get bored?
Ask yourself what did you enjoy about it? What was less enjoyable and why?
Also consider how could you tweak your ideal day/ career to make it even more enjoyable to you?
Feeling Tired? Here's How To Naturally Boost your Energy Levels
Perhaps if you are reading this you may find yourself wanting to have more energy during the day, or more specifically, to have more stable energy levels throughout the day.
It is normal to have dips and rises in our energy during a course of a day, however, there are many things that are within our control and are actually taking away more energy from us, than what is normal.
I discuss these energy-draining factors below and also offer a simplified and practical view on how to boost your energy through natural and accessible methods - Because I think that everyone can benefit from having more disposable energy during the day.
Happy reading.
FACTORS AFFECTING OUR ENERGY LEVELS
There are a couple of main factors for which we can be sure that they affect our energy levels. These factors are written below and are further expanded on in the next section.
If we can begin to control these factors, we are much more likely to end up with stable and consistent energy throughout the day.
Sleep: Both length and quality
Diet: What you eat, how much of something you eat, and when you eat
Stress management
Physical activity and movement
Illness or feeling unwell
Drinking enough water
Consumption of caffeine
Smoking and alcohol
Our posture
Depth and rate of our breathing
LACK OF ENERGY: CAUSES & REMEDIES
1. SLEEP
Sleep is something that we often underestimate the importance of, but after a night of just a couple of hours of sleep with an early wake up the next morning, we feel groggy and underslept, and only then do we wish we went to bed earlier and spent more time sleeping.
The amount of sleep that you need will mainly vary based on your age, your health status, and your physical activity levels.
On average, here is the amount of time you should spend sleeping per night:
6-13 years olds: 9-11 hours
14-17 years olds: 8-10 hours
18-25 years olds: 7-9 hours
26-64 years olds: 7-9 hours
With sleep both the quality and quantity of our sleep matters as the quantity ensures that we go through all the stages of sleep in a given night and the quality is responsible for sleeping deeply enough.
But as it turns out the wide majority of the global population is underslept and frequently experiences poor sleep. For example, across the world, about 37% of adults ages 20-39 report short sleep duration, and roughly 35% of adults in the US, say that they sleep for less than 7 hours per night. Furthermore, another pressing issue is insomnia, where now across the world, between 10 and 30% of adults frequently struggle with chronic insomnia.
Overall, sleep affects many more things than just our energy levels where it is also heavily linked with negative changes in our emotions, mood, cardiovascular health, memory, and our immune system.
If you are interested to find out more about sleep and how to sleep better, check out this post here
IMPLEMENTATION STRATGEIS:
Before going to bed, try having a set nighttime routine to cue your brain into going to sleep
Relax and calm yourself before sleep
Optimize your bedroom environment: Dim and warm the lights, cool the room temperature, and limit loud sound
Have a consistent sleep and wake up schedule
Include physical activity during your day
Limit caffeine consumption in the afternoon
Reduce exposure to blue light in the evening and increase exposure to natural light during the day
2. PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
Even just from an evolutionary point of view, humans are not designed to sit for several hours in one sitting, we are made to move. It is crucially important to fit in movement during our day every day, as sitting down for extended periods of time without standing up in between, has been correlated with poorer cardiovascular health, back pain, type 2 diabetes, and potentially also various forms of cancer.
The point here is that you do not need to do extended periods of vigorous exercise to feel any of the benefits, as even just a 30-minute walk can completely change around your mood and energy levels. It is even better if each day you manage to go out to get some fresh air and expose your skin to some sunshine for a bit.
In terms of why exercise can improve our energy levels, it is that doing more physical activity has been shown to increase the number of mitochondria in certain cells, which means that we are able to have a greater respiration rate and thus produce more energy. Additionally, during exercise, our body naturally releases hormones of happiness, also known as endorphins, which work to raise our mood and in turn also our energy throughout the day.
Perhaps a less commonly mentioned aspect, but people who do regular exercise, have also been shown to have better posture, which can otherwise lead to issues such as back or neck pain, as well as disrupted digestion.
IMPLEMENTTION STRATGIES:
Aim to do at least 30 minutes a day of some form of physical activity per day
Once you have been sitting down for long periods of time, aim to stand up or readjust your posture. Perhaps if you have the time and space, try doing some stretches or going for a short walk, which should help with adjusting your posture
Try different forms of movement and stick to what you like: Walking, cycling, running, dancing, yoga, weight training, hiking, swimming, tennis, basketball, etc.
When working sitting down, try and stand up every 20minutes or so and get some movement
Set daily movement goals (Eg: The number of steps or distance you want to walk)
3. FOOD AND DRINKS
I’m pretty sure that most of us by now know just how important food is and how it can drastically impact just about every aspect of our health and wellbeing - Including our energy levels.
You can imagine food as a simple fuel source for your body, whereby if you fuel your body with the food it’s designed to eat, your body will reward you with better and more stable energy levels. Eat real food, limit processed “food” and keep things in moderation, and very likely your energy will show an increase.
While this idea of healthy eating may sound simple in theory, when it comes to real-life it can often be more complex, because nowadays there is more processed food available than ever before, making junk “food” more convenient, affordable, and accessible wherever we go. Because of this, it is that much more important we take care of what we eat and be mindful of what we are fueling our bodies with.
Excessive consumption of highly processed food such as regularly consuming fast food, sugary sodas, and desserts, and snacks with lots of added sugar has been increasingly linked with poorer cardiovascular health, which puts you more in danger later on of developing type II diabetes and obesity. Furthermore, these medical conditions can lead to other unwanted health issues such as poorer oral health, more inflammation in your body, and a greater risk for the development of various types of cancers.
As a general recommendation, limit your intake of highly processed food that is full of chemicals and artificial additives that in the long term, don’t bring many benefits to your body at all - apart from your taste buds. Try incorporating more foods in their whole food form, and try making more meals at home by yourself, since that way you not only save yourself money from takeouts but also learn to budget your groceries better and have more control in terms of what you put in your food.
IMPLEMENTAITON STRATEGIES
Focus on eating natural and whole grains and limit processed food
Avoid excessive added sugar consumption
Eating enough calories for your needs
Drink more water during the day, especially if you are more physically active
Aim to eat at regular intervals
Aim to space out your meals into smaller portions throughout the day
Eating larger meals can often lead to feeling heavy after eating
Try to not eat too late at night as that can interfere with your sleep
Incorporate more fruits and vegetable into your diet with a higher water content
Limit alcohol consumption
Alcohol is a sedative, which slows down and relaxes our body, by slowing down our brain functioning
4. STRESS MANAGEMENT
You might not be aware of this, but stress and anxiety are very energy-intensive states for our body to maintain, due to having a more rapid heartbeat as a result of the hormone cortisol. From an evolutionary point of view, stress was useful and told our body to respond quickly in times of danger so that we were able to survive.
However modern-day causes of stress are much different than what they used to be because we no longer have to run away from lions and worry about making it through the night. Nowadays, stress arises not from physiological factors, but from psychological factors that are a result of our environment - which is becoming ever more busy and demanding to upkeep.
Stress in the right amounts is actually believe it or not, beneficial to us, however, it is crucial that we maintain stress at healthy levels as otherwise many other aspects of our health can suffer as a result. I have talked more about the dangers of chronic stress in this article here
IMPLEMENTATION STRATEGIES
Try different things to calm yourself down: Meditation, exercise, journaling, reading, taking a bath, seeing or talking to a friend (Doing something you love)
Try breathing techniques
Become better at managing your time
Become better at prioritizing your work
Self-reflect: Why am I stressed? Is this in my control? Is this an appropriate reaction?
5. LIFESTYLE CHOICES
In terms of lifestyle choices, I am referring to smoking and excessive alcohol consumption, both of which strongly influence our energy levels throughout the day.
Smoking has been around for a long time and even though we are now more aware of the danger of smoking than ever before, people still persist to smoke nonetheless.
Several clinical studies have shown that smoking several cigarettes per day has been associated with the development of various types of cancers, heart disease, a greater risk for stroke, a weaker immune system, type II diabetes, and serious respiratory conditions such as emphysema and chronic bronchitis.
There are now plenty of available methods such as various cigarette replacements, with which you can try and reduce your smoking.
In terms of alcohol, moderate consumption shows less serious health effects, however excessive drinking of highly alcoholic beverages has been associated with increased levels of inflammation, a rise in blood sugar, and causing a slower response rate.
Alcohol is classed as a sedative drug, which works by slowing down the electrical impulses carried by never cells across our nervous system, which results in a slower reaction time and responsivity.
IMPLEMENTATION STRATEGIES:
AIm to reduce your smoking, or even better if you quit completely
Drink alcohol in moderation. If drinking is not your thing, simply don’t feel pressured to do it
Benefits Of Regular Meditation
“Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind.”
I have always heard of the many benefits that meditation can bring along with it, but I have always had a hard time comprehending them or believing they are true since I had never integrated meditation into my lifestyle as part of a regular practice. To test these benefits for myself, about a month ago I had decided to try and start a daily meditation routine, to see whether these benefits are as widespread and impactful as meditation articles make them seem.
After having done more than a month of regular daily meditation now, I can firmly confirm that I have uncovered some of these benefits for myself and I hope that with this article I can convince you to at least try meditation once and that the benefits will show themselves if you are consistent and intentional.
Before I start stating and explaining some of the most profound benefits that I have discovered with a regular meditation routine, I would like to first open up by clarifying what meditation even is - as many people have an incorrect assumption of it- as well as providing insight into how meditation is carried out and some practical tips that we can all use to integrate meditation into our lifestyle.
LEARNING THE BASICS
WHAT IS MEDITATION:
If we simplify the idea of meditation, we can define it as a practice or skill in which we are able to sit in stillness, not forcing our mind to think or reflect about anything, while becoming an observer to our behaviour, emotions and thoughts. The point of meditation is not to be perfect or to experience zero thoughts during our practice - which is very unlikely if you are a beginner since during the day our minds are exposed to a constant influx of information from the outside world - but the purpose of meditation is to be acceptant to anything that comes and goes through our minds while being submerged in the present moment, not worrying about the past or future.
During meditation we often turn our focus to our breath as it is one thing that is always with us in the current moment, meaning that it helps keep us grounded to the present moment.
Meditation is also a time we choose to schedule purely to ourselves, not having to worry about worries and thoughts arising from our external situations, meaning that it is a time that we can calm down, get a new perspective on things and find moments to slow down in this fast-paced lifestyle that we live.
HOW TO MEDITATE:
Sit down in a crosslegged position that you find comfortable with your hands resting on your knees or in your lap, and your shoulders being pushed slightly back to open up your chest and maintain a proper posture.
Relax your muscles thought out your whole body, but still keeping yourself in an attentive and upright position.
Close your eyes and take a couple of deep long breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling out of your mouth.
Once you feel your body has started to calm down, resort to following your natural breathing patterns, keeping your eyes closed and the focus on your breath or an area of your body where your breath can be felt (nose, expanding of chest or stomach).
Focus on your breathing for the majority of the practice and when you start coming to the end of your practice, slowly start bringing awareness to your body and space around you, until you are able to fully open your eyes.
GENERAL MEDITATION TIPS:
Turn your mindset from being a perfectionist to being accepting of everything that comes your way and not letting it make you get off track permanently. In the beginning, everyone finds it hard to quiet our minds, but forcing this will also yield in no beneficial results.
The more consistent and intentional you are with your practice, the more likely you are to find purpose in doing it and the more likely you are to integrate it as a habit. Reflect upon your practice and identify whether afterwards you feel any different and try and set up an intention for why you want to start meditating.
People tend to often assume that meditation is a very strict, perfectionistic and hard to do practice, however it is not. Meditation can be a very easy and effortless process to follow as long as we do not become judgemental of whatever wanders through our minds. Just like it is not a practice of being a perfectionist, meditation can also come in different styles depending on your preference for sound, pace and technique, making it a universal skill that people can master if they put their mind to it.
Meditation can be done in silence or with accompanying music or instrumental background sounds. Which one you prefer is up to you.
Nowadays there are also plenty of meditation apps that help you with starting or continuing the habit of meditation. Many apps offer the option of guided meditation where you are listening to another person that it systematically guiding you through the process of meditation.
Meditation does also not have to take up plenty of your time, but can instead range anywhere from as little as five minutes to more than an hour, depending on which level you are and the amount of time you choose to dedicate to this practice. As a beginner, I would recommend starting with five minutes and then slowly progressing to ten minutes and eventually twenty minutes until you are able to do the practice on your own for however long you feel like.
Whether you decide to meditate in the morning, evening, during the day, or all three, it is up to you. Many people prefer to meditate first thing in the morning as in the morning hours our brain is not compleltčey clouded with thoughts of the upcoming day, making it easier to focus and relax into the practice itself.
MY MEDITATION PRACTICE:
I have been meditating for a little over a month now, doing between 10-20 minutes every morning right when I wake up. I personally like using the app Oak as it is free of charge (except their mantra meditation course) and it provides the chance of guided meditation that I am a big fan of as it helps me enter the state of meditation quicker.
In the background, I often like to play relaxing instrumental noises such as a flute or rain falling, but sometimes I also just do it in silence.
If you are someone who is a big app user, there are many different apps out there that specialise in meditation, so experiment with them and find which one brings you the most value, enjoyment and regularity in your practice
PERSONAL BENEFITS OF MEDITATION
BENEFIT 1: Becoming an observer
The first benefit that had uncovered itself to me after starting a regular meditation routine, was that I became an observer and spectator to my own life. Becoming an observer has firstly benefited my life from an emotional standpoint, where I was able to assess the way I reacted to a certain situation, whether I reacted appropriately and why did I react in that way. By improving the way I reacted to situations, I was able to influx more positive opportunities into my life, as well as maintain or build new social connections.
Furthermore, gaining the perspective of an observer also enabled me to become a better decision-maker as I was able to look at a situation objectively and start relying on rational thought instead of just emotional drive.
BENEFIT 2: Feeling more calm and centred
The second benefit comes with no surprise, but undoubtedly meditation has allowed me to become calmer, more level headed and more focused on my work, where I was able to approach situations with a clearer mind and produce less of an anxious response. By feeling calmer, it has lead me to improve my work prioritization which manifested itself into being able to focus on a given task for longer periods of time and becoming better at avoiding distractions - all of which are needed for a balanced and productive lifestyle.
BENEFIT 3: Increased gratitude
By becoming more of an observer through the process of meditation, you are able to self reflect, gain more control throughout different areas of your life, which leads you to become a more present person. The ability to be present in a situation is becoming rarer but it is also one that is becoming more necessary to do. By being more present we are able to truly assess our life and look at it through a lens of gratitude for all the things, experiences, people and opportunities we had, still have or we will get in the future.
I believe that we should not label situations as either being “good” or “bad” because that can predetermine our response to them when it is still in our control to choose the way we intentionally react to them. The focus in your life should not only be on “good” situations because we also need “bad” situations to learn from them and be able to appreciate and realise what a “good” situation even means for us. Through expressing gratitude, you are able to view even the most negative situations with at least a hint of positive light, which is always better than seeing only the bad in something negative, as dwelling on your losses never gets you anywhere, but learning from them does.
BENEFIT 4: Increased mental clarity
Another benefit that came to me through the practice of meditation was that I experienced greater mental clarity during my day, with which I was able to react more appropriately in situations, make better decisions, stay focused on the task consistently and live more in the present moment. “Mental clarity” means something different for everyone, but in my terms, it meant that I became a generally all-around more rational person with the things I said and did which made me become more intentional with my actions and the way I choose to spend my time. I realized that it was up to me how I spent my time and how much time I choose to allocate to a specific task. It was up to me to decide how much focus to bring to the table and where to concentrate it on.
Lastly, because I started viewing life events in a more objective light, I was able to tune into my intuition more, which simplified and quickened the process of decision making that so often usually drained me of energy.
BENEFIT 5: Becoming less judgemental and more accepting
The last point links to the idea of neutrality and not labelling something as being “good” or “bad” but simply being acceptant and aware of it. By labelling something as “bad” or “good” you are in a way predetermining your response and thus the outcome from that situation, that would otherwise have been up to you as to how you choose to react to it. It is crucial to realise that we will be okay even if we encounter a “bad” situation and that we can use those situations that make us struggle and fail, to our advantage, to fuel our growth as a person and to strengthen our mindset.
ADVICE FOR PICKING UP THE HABIT OF MEDITATION:
Start small and be consistent. Even just five minutes a day can be sufficient as a beginner, and when you feel ready to extend that time period, go for it.
Involve the use of a meditation app that will make it easier for you to stick to your practice and encourage you with your progress thus far.
Understand and figure out why you even want to start meditating in the first place. What do you think or want to get out of this practice?
Adapt the practice to your preference in terms of the length you choose, time of day you do it, your choice of having music, background vocal guidance or silence. Design it so that it will be enjoyable to you, increasing your chances of sticking to it.
CONNECT THROUGH INSTAGRAM
Follow me along on my Intsgram where I showcase my photography work along with generally useful life advice. Would love for you to check it out and hope that it brings you useful value.
Habits Are The Key To Your Success
“Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.”
There is a reason as to why habits get so much praise in the “productivity world” today, and that comes with very good reasoning behind it. Habits, when implemented correctly over time, can have massive and incredibly positive effects on our life and well being, but that also means that if they are not used correctly, they can quickly lead us to stumble down negative habit loops that do us no good.
So how exactly do we make the most out of our habits and implement them in a way that we will derive the most benefit from them? Read on to find out.
Before we delve into the topic of habits and how exactly they are able to transform our lives, I would like to mention that the information in this post is partly based and built upon from the points that James Clear has made in his best selling book, Atomic Habits, that explores the science behind habits and how we build new ones and break bad ones. I would highly recommend the book to anyone interested in improving their life by using habits.
I would like to first begin by giving some introductory information on the topic of habits, that will enable us to grapple and understand the forthcoming content with much more ease.
WHAT ARE HABITS?
In basic terms, a habit is any automatic behaviour that we execute without having to put mental thought into doing it, meaning that it is largely unconscious. We all perform habits, however, most of the time we do not even realise that something is habitual behaviour since we are not applying conscious thought while executing the action.
A prominent study done by Duke University has concluded that about 40% of our daily actions are said to be habits, meaning that habits form a large chunk of our daily behaviour. What is the reason behind this? Why such a big percentage?
ROLE OF HABITS
Well, the answer quite plainly lies within our brain, that functions, in simple terms, like a big energy conservation machine. Even though our brain only takes up about 2% of our total body weight, it uses an astonishing 20% of our total energy intake for performing its daily functions. Because of its large energy use, the brains main goal is to use the energy it receives with as much efficiency as possible, meaning that not much of it goes to waste. And that is exactly what habits are here to do. They are unconscious actions, meaning they do not require thinking - or the use of mental energy - for them to be executed, allowing our brain to save this precious energy and use it for more important matters.
Apart from the fact that habits allow our brains to save energy, they also save our brain time, as habitual behaviour happens subconsciously and is in a way almost predetermined, meaning that we lose less time with coming up with a final decision, that would otherwise lead to the commonly known “decision fatigue”.
Therefore, because habits form such a large chunk of our behaviour, they can have very large and noticeable effects on our lives and well being, either being good or bad, depending on which ones we prioritize.
BUILDING BLOCKS OF HABITS
In order for us to understand how we can build long-lasting positive habits and break negative habit loops for good, we have to first understand the actual structure of a habit and what causes them in the first place. The first two components (the Cue and the Craving) are part of the problem phase that are based on input actions of the habit, while the last two components (Response and Reward) form the solution component as they focus on the outcomes of a habit.
CUE: This concerns an exterior stimulus in our environment that acts as a trigger to our habit. This is exactly why our habits are based so much in our environment because our environment provides most of the triggers to those habits.
CRAVING: The carving is all about the emotional drive behind a habit, and acts as a main reason of power for our brain to execute the action automatically. After all, if an action was not being craved by our brain, then why would it be done? While the craving is all about wanting the action, the response concentrates on performing the action.
RESPONSE: In other words, the response is the action that is triggered by the cue and is accelerated by the craving. Over time this repetitive response will form a habit loop, however, your responsibility to a cue is determined by a) how determined you are to complete the action and b) your level of ability to perform the action.
REWARD: Finally, the reward focuses on stimulating our brains with a positive reward that will encourage the repetition of the same behaviour later on, because the action will become associated with the same reward.
EXAMPLE OF A HABIT LOOP:
CUE: The sweet smell of a doughnut shop that you walk by on a street.
CRAVING: The sweet smell of fried doughnuts makes it hard for your brain to resist it because if something smells good it makes us want to eat it, as it will likely also taste good.
RESPONSE: You walk into the doughnut shop, purchase a doughnut and eat it, as a result of the initially enticing smell.
REWARD: Your taste buds are immediately rewarded by the sweet and fatty taste of the doughnut, so now walking by a doughnut shop will become associated with a sweet-tasting reward.
BUILDING NEW AND POSITIVE HABITS:
GENERAL TIPS:
Starting small and easy: When trying to implement a new habit into our routine, we have to start small as otherwise we feel overwhelmed as to how to start or we simply lose motivation to keep executing the action that has not yet become automatic, meaning that we will face more resistance to it.
Small daily imprvements: In his books Atomic Habits, James Clear often emphasizes the point that if we improve for even juts 1% each day, that over the course of months and years can accumulate to a large and noticeable improvement. The same can be said if we decide to pursue a negative habit and get worse for 1% each day. Small changes add up through consistency and effort.
Breaking down your habits: To once again not get too overwhelmed with the expectations that implementing a new habit brings, it is very useful to break up a large and hard to do habit into smaller easier to do actions. For example, if you want to start running every day, you can split this large habit into two smaller habits of fueling your body the right food to have enough energy and to get into the habit of finishing your work quickly to have more time to run, both of which will contribute towards your overall habit.
Getting back on track and tracking your progress: Many of us, when trying to start a new habit we wither forget about it rather quickly or we fall back into our previous habitual actions. These situations are completely normal, which is because when we try and introduce a new habit, old habitual neural pathways never get deleted, because they are only replaced by new habits, which explains why we often slip back into our old routines. To remain consistent with our new habit, I would also recomed tracking our progress, whether that is from a visual, numerical or emotional perspective, that when seeing positive results, will motivate us to continue the habit.
Have patience and consistency: Humans are wired to function based on instant gratification which allows us to receive immediate benefits from doing something but with habits it takes more time for the results to show, which is why it is important to keep trying our best, be consistent and be patient as the results will eventually come as long as we work for them.
RULES FOR STICKING WITH NEW HABITS:
Make the habit:
Have an obvious trigger (Desing your environment accordingly)
Attractive (Increases our likeness to do it)
Easy to do (Makes starting less daunting)
Satisfying (Ensures that we will repeat it)
QUITTING BAD AND PERSISTENT HABITS
GENERAL TIPS:
Replacing your habits: By replacing a bad habit with a good one that brings about the same reward or feeling, we will find it less tempting to slip back into our old habit routines as by doing the habit that is good for us we will still be getting the same or at least a similar reward as previously with the bad habit.
Social environment and Accountability: By working or partnering with another person or a group of people who support you in your habits and motivate you to keep persistent, that will greatly increase the chances of you a) sticking to the new habit and b) quitting a bad habit, as someone can hold you accountable for how much time has passed since you last did the bad habit. Accountability does not only have to wor with real-life people but can also be done with digital applications that help track your habits if you prefer.
Environmental design: Our environment is the largest sources of our, good and bad, habit triggers, therefore it is important to surround ourselves in an environment that will promote the formation of good habits while preventing the continuation of bad habits.
New identity: By adopting or quitting a habit, we essentially want to become a new person. For example, someone who might want to start eating healthier could identify themselves as a “healthy eater”, while someone who is trying to quit smoking will refer to themselves as a “non-smoker or ex-smoker”. By giving ourselves a new identity based on our habits, we become more intentional behind our habits as to why we would want to start or quit one, in order for them to align with our new persona.
RULES FOR BREAKING BAD HABITS:
Make the habit:
Have a non-obvious trigger (Designing your environment accordingly)
Unattractive (Decreases our chances of doing it)
Difficult (Requires more effort to do it)
Unsatisfying (Ensures we will not repeat it)
CONNECT THROUGH INSTAGRAM
Follow me along on my Intsgram where I showcase my photography work along with generally useful life advice. Would love for you to check it out and hope that it brings you useful value.